College Bound

Dear Linda:

     I’ve been retired for two years and am bored stiff. I loved school and decided to go back to college—to the chagrin of my children. Is my desire so absurd, and do I get any advantages for having lots of snow on the roof?
College Bound

Dear College Bound:

       There is nothing absurd about learning, and the thirst for it doesn’t diminish with age. In fact, keeping the mind active is the key to staving off a number of age-related problems. Continuing Education is often at the top of a Retirement Checklist, and seniors make excellent students.

       The Texas Education Code allows persons 65+ to audit (full class participation but no tests) any college course with space without paying tuition or fees. For good community relations and because colleges recognize the advantage of running full classes, seniors are offered the empty seats. Ask the College Admissions Office for details about eligibility.

       For retirees interested in earning a first or subsequent degree, it’s important to evaluate skills and knowledge acquired in the work place. Your professional experience may afford you the opportunity to test out of classes. Visit www.collegeboard.com/student/testing or call 800-257-9558 for information about the College-Level Examination Program. “Clepping” out of classes can speed along the graduation process.

       Those who might have trouble getting to a college campus or think they would feel too uncomfortable in the beginning should consider Distance Learning (Online classes that connect the student to the professor via the internet). Students submit their assignments and professors correct and return them using email to communicate. Be sure that any program you choose is accredited. Visit the Council for Higher Education Accreditation at www.chea.org or call 202-955-6126 for specific information.

       Funding abounds for seniors. Visit www.usafunds.collegeanswer.com to access a database of over two million scholarships. Read 501 Ways for Adult Students to Pay for College by Gen and Kelly Tanabe and The Scholarship Scouting Report: An Insider’s Guide to America’s Best Scholarships by Ben Kaplan.

       Carpe Diem (seize the day) and worry not what others think.

Dehydration

Dear Linda:

       I’m as dried out as sandpaper. What began as a problem with small patches of dry skin has become a full-blown case of cracked and bleeding skin. I’d cry about it, but I don’t have any tears.

Scratchy in Saginaw

Dear Scratchy:

       At the very minimum, you’re dehydrated, a condition that’s not only threatening but among seniors even dangerous enough to cause hospitalization. See your primary physician for a thorough exam.

       Water, though not exactly the fountain of youth, is at least the “fount of life” and the most critical substance in the human body. Every organ, tissue and cell needs water to function. It transports nutrients, promotes digestion, and carries away waste. Controlling body temperature and ensuring proper blood volume, water keeps skin, mouth, nose and eyes moist.

       Preventing thirst is crucial, particularly for those over 60, as it suggests that the optimum level of water in our bodies (50-75% of weight) is already compromised. Seniors are at particular risk because as aging occurs, the amount of water in the body is reduced and the ability to recognize thirst signals greatly diminished.

       If enough water isn’t ingested, the body will drain the body’s organs and tissues. Symptoms are: headache, fatigue, poor circulation, muscle spasms, kidney failure, and increased body temperature and pulse rate. Weakness will escalate, and labored breathing, dizziness, and even delirium can result.

       A minimum of 64 ounces per day of water, the no-calorie beverage absorbed faster than any other, is the remedy. Milk, juices, soup, and at least five servings of fruits and vegetables (high water content) are good sources for additional fluid intake.

       Modify processes that dry skin. Wear gloves when cleaning and take warm rather than hot showers. Slather on oils or lotions before completely drying hands or body to lock in moisture.

       Read The American Dietetic Association's Complete Food & Nutrition Guide by RA Duyff for valuable information and resources.

Dear Linda:

       My 82-year-old aunt was deeply religious until the loss of her son. She's angry that her child died before she did, and she's retreated from anything spiritual. Do you have any ideas for getting her back to the church she loved?

Hope

Dear Hope:

       Perhaps the most difficult crisis a mother faces is the loss of a child, regardless of their age. The emotions felt are the deepest and most debilitating. Your aunt will need time to grieve and move through the difficult stages that end eventually with acceptance.

       Encourage her to see the doctor for a check-up as she is probably struggling with depression. Symptoms to look for are: loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite, weight and sleeping patterns, irritability, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness or guilt.

       Clinical depression (six months or more) actually changes thinking patterns, affects perceptions, and requires some form of treatment. Often, mothers who lose children feel like they have died as well.

       Emotional support is crucial. Your aunt needs understanding and empathy, so allow her to vent her anger and express her despair. Listen without judgment or criticism. Friends from church could offer this same solace and become the bridge for her return.

       Offer to pray for her, then with her. Scientific studies show that prayer is powerful
medicine—positively affecting high blood pressure, heart attacks, headaches and anxiety. Meditative and relaxing, prayer inhibits hormones that flow from adrenal glands in response to stress. An attitude of prayerfulness, caring and compassion, for the soul who needs it, sets the stage for healing.

       Bring church to your aunt. Play songs of worship when you visit and leave behind a compilation of her favorites. Invite the pastor to come to her home. The clergy is well-trained and experienced in helping those who suffer loss and need spiritual renewal and inner healing.

       Read The Transformation of the Inner Man, The Most Comprehensive Book on Inner Healing Today, and Healing the Wounded Spirit by John and Paula Sandford. Share your insights and be patient. Your loving care will bear fruit.

Personal Emergency Response Systems

Dear Linda:
       
My grandmother fell, was unable to move initially or call anyone for hours. We’ve suggested assisted living, but she wants to remain in her home. What should we know about contact systems?
 
Her Worried Granddaughter

 
Dear Granddaughter:

Your grandmother is very lucky to have you in her life. With today's mobility, family members are not always close by to protect their elders, and, sadly and too often now, older folks are left entirely to their own devices by their own children.

Though the elderly generally like to stay in the comfort of their own home, it can be dangerous, particularly if they live alone. That is why having a Personal Emergency Response System (PERS) can be imperative. This simple electronic device enables the user to summon help in an emergency, and can be the difference between life and death.
     
A benefit to the aging or disabled, the user feels more confident and lives more safely at home for a longer time (Surveys indicate a PERS adds an average of five years of independent living.). The user’s family worries less because their loved one has access to immediate help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
     
PERS has two components. The transmitter is battery operated and activated by pressing a button. The transmitter (Be sure it’s waterproof for in the shower) can be worn around the neck, on a wrist band or belt, or in a pocket. The second component is the console which is triggered when the transmitter button is pushed.
     
When the console receives the radio signal from the transmitter, it operates as automatic dialing machine and sends an alert through any telephone to pre-selected emergency numbers. Look for systems with a long transmission range that can dial out even if the telephone is in use or off the hook.
     
A PERS can be rented or purchased. The varied equipment costs and monthly fees ($30-50) are not covered by Medicare, Medicaid or most insurance companies. Most PERS are programmed to an Emergency Response Center where the caller is identified, and the medical history and contacts are on file. The Center calls emergency services (medical, fire or police). The other alternative is to buy a no-monthly-fee system that dials emergency services directly. This can be more cost effective, so compare prices.
     
Test several systems for ease and performance. Ask about unique features and servicing. Read all agreements carefully before signing and call the Better Business Bureau to see if any complaints have been filed against companies being considered.

How to Honor Dad

Dear Linda:

       My father says that we’re not to buy him anything for Father’s Day. He’s advised us to deposit into a bank account what we would have spent on him. His attitude typifies a lifetime of putting our interests first. We want to remember the day with more than another tie or v-neck sweater. What can we buy?

Sonny in Arlington

Dear Sonny:

       Perhaps the best solution for honoring your father isn’t something you can buy in a store. Dads deserve some thought, creativity and care. After all, they put their own needs on hold, sometimes indefinitely, worked a lifetime to provide for their families, and sacrificed their own dreams to ensure those of their children.

       Send him a loving email at work the Friday before and tell him you’d like to arrange a day for just the two of you—a picnic at the Botanic Gardens, a game at the ballpark, a car trip to a place he’s never been, or a day doing whatever it is that he loves.

       Fix him his favorite meal, mow his lawn and clean out the garage, and offer to house and pet sit, so he and your mom can have a special weekend or take a trip.

       If your Dad is confined, plant a fruit or flowering bush and hang a bird feeder outside his window. He’ll enjoy the activity and become invested in the growth process.

       As people age, things become far less important. Photos, however, take on greater meaning, particularly for those who struggle with short-term memory loss. Five minutes ago may be a fog, but the distant past is remembered with crystal clarity. Make thematic scrapbooks of various special events through the years or frame a collage of his favorite pictures.

       Instead of a card, write a letter that expresses appreciation in a very specific manner. Highlight special moments you shared and recall the times that made all the difference in your life. He will cherish it forever.

Adopt A Grandparent

Dear Linda:
 
       I’m a freshman in college who was looking for a volunteer opportunity. My adviser suggested adopting-a-grandparent. I met an elderly woman with no family in my own neighborhood, and though I know I have helped my adopted grandmother, I’ve learned more from her than I can say. This special experience has turned out to be such a gift in my life, and I want others to consider doing the same.

A Grateful Teen
Dear Grateful Teen:

       It’s so heartening to hear a young person recognize the value of relationships with older people. Seniors are able to impart valuable wisdom gained from a lifetime of joy and heartache, can teach lessons learned in their work and family environments, and can share their friendship and love—capabilities that don’t diminish with age.

       Harvard University research reveals that seniors who participate in social activities, spend time with friends and family, play cards and games, and exercise will live an average of 2.5 years longer than those who are more isolated. Being cared about by even one other person spares that senior from feeling alone and vulnerable.

       Adopting-a-grandparent unites the generations. It offers young people an opportunity to receive precious gifts from seniors, and it offers seniors someone to visit and listen, help and serve, and love and comfort them—all critical for physical and emotional well-being.

       A very successful Adopt-A-Grandparent (AAGP) program was founded by Linda Lanstraat in Atlanta, Georgia in 1978. In this organization, there are three types of volunteers who give at least two hours a week—a Friend who visits the senior at home, an On-call driver who takes seniors to functions and appointments, and an AAGP Board Member who raises awareness and funds.

     Consider beginning an organization in your area or like Grateful Teen, look around neighborhood, in the church pews or loading sacs at your grocery store. Today, more and more often, the elderly are left by family members to fend for themselves, and they are struggling. When you see an old person working a job that seems too hard for them, take a moment to chat. See what you can do to help.



    
      

Getting Ready for Visits with Grandchildren

Dear Linda:
     
My grandchildren, ages 6 and 8, are coming from across the country to visit us at our lake house. It’s been decades since I’ve child-proofed. What precautions should I take?

A Happy Grandma

Dear Grandma:

For young children, there’s nothing more exciting than a visit with grandparents. Times of pampering and indulgence, novelty and undivided attention, they are often the sweetest remembrances of childhood.
     
To ensure that all goes well, it’s critical to take precautions particularly by water—tubs, pools and lakes. Don’t ever leave children unattended. If you must go, even for a moment, so should they. Insist that children always wear U.S. Coast Guard approved life vests not floaties, particularly on boats or along the shoreline where they could be washed away. Always keep rescue equipment (i.e. life preserver or shepherd’s hook) and a telephone near.
     
Tender skin must be protected. Slather children in sunscreen with at least a 15 SPF several times a day, even when it’s cloudy. Carry a bottle in the car for unexpected stops. Outfit them in brimmed hats and sunglasses. They’ll protect, and ones bought with you become special souvenirs.
     
If you take children to a playground, don’t let them wear anything with drawstrings (scarves, necklaces, belts or backpacks), and avoid straps, like on a helmet. Choose an age appropriate playground with soft surfaces like wood chips and shredded rubber, preventing falls on concrete, asphalt and even packed dirt.
     
Have children wear protective equipment (wrist guards, knee and elbow pads) when skating or riding a bicycle. Helmets reduce risk of head injury by 85% and are required by law.
     
Lock-up alcohol, medicine, household cleaning and garden chemicals, matches, lighters, candles and all fire arms. Keep knives, scissors and hot plates out of reach. Put plug guards into sockets and around fires and heaters.
     
Keep a well-stocked, first aid kit and a fire extinguisher handy. Visit www.safekids.org for more tips and safely celebrate National Children’s Day.